Today I had a better interview

Consequently, I feel more optimistic about my future. Slightly. I do still feel like I am on the wrong track, somewhat, because I don't really want to keep doing this forever, but I don't feel as demoralized as I would have if the interview today had sucked. I actually felt like they liked me and were impressed with my techishness, and even that they might hire me. They asked me when I could start. I called the agency who sent me over there, and they asked me to send them a thank you note that they could forward to the company, so when I got home I did this. We shall see.

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Thank God for today's interview, because I was pretty down about career stuff last night. I had an uncomfortable but honest conversation with Adam where I asked him, "You don't think I'm a very good developer, do you?" and he replied that he didn't. He said, "You struggle with basic problems." It's true, too. It was depressing. I would like for him to think more highly of my professional skills than that. I appreciated the honesty, certainly, but it was painful to hear it. He then said, "You don't even want to do this, though. Why do you care if I think you aren't very good at it?" I told him, "I feel like you are saying I am not smart. I know you aren't saying that, but I still feel like it." I also said it depresses me to be doing something that I'm not very good at, as my career. I'm a smart person and extremely capable in many arenas, and to wind up in a career in which I am basically mediocre is galling.