1. How has being "realistic" or "responsible" kept you from the life you want?
2. How has doing what you "should" resulted in subpar experiences or regret for not doing something?
3. Look at what you're currently doing and ask, "What would happen if I did the opposite of the people around me? What will I sacrifice if I continue on this track for 5, 10, or 20 years?"
god, the thought of staying on this track for even 5, much less 10 or 20 more years is soul-crushing. i don't want to end up like my coworker e---; he seems okay with his choices, but is derided by his colleagues. plus he seems somewhat unhappy or at least aware that he's not highly respected. i don't want to be 20+ years older than my peers (i'm already 10+ years old and don't much care for it anymore), and STILL trying to catch up!
i want to try new things and learn new skills and go back to school in a whole new area - like chem or french or something. i want to have my own shop (though i don't want to work in it). i want to get involved in local politics, maybe. i want to go back to karate and finish getting my black belt. i want to learn to rock climb. i want to skydive.
if i do the opposite of the people around me i will never get expert in my current field. and i don't give a damn about that! i have this downtime at work right now and i don't have any interest in boning up on my career subject matter!
1. Define your nightmare - what is the worst that could happen?
a. unemployed and no money coming in. new business ideas don't pan out and i can't find a new job.
b. have to sell the house and spend all the proceeds to live on.
c. adam leaves me.
d. i can't afford meds and get disablingly depressed.
e. i have to move in with my brother or my parents.
What would be the permanent (or really long term) impact on a scale of 1-10?
a. have to start all over on savings (but i don't have a huge amount anyway right now) - 2
b. have to start over on equity - 6
c. have to get over losing adam and find somebody new - 6
(i've spent a lot of time alone, i've been single for long periods, i can handle it, it would just suck for a long time.)
d. ultimately, no effect. i'd get meds again. i'd be okay (0) unless i kill myself (10)
e. have to eat crow and deal with impertinent questions about how things are going getting my shit back together - 4
How likely is it they'd really happen?
a - 3 - it's happened before, so i know it CAN happen.
b - 1 - it's so unlikely it's not even a real fear.
c - 2 or 3 - he wouldn't want to, but it's not IMPOSSIBLE.
d - 0 - i would actually place meds before electricity.
e - 1 - same as b. can't really imagine it happening.
* 4HWW = The 4-Hour Workweek, by Timothy Ferris. My current change-your-life script.