Thursday, May 31, 2007

Q&A from 4HWW*

1. How has being "realistic" or "responsible" kept you from the life you want?

  • i have a low expectation of what kind of replacement job i can get, so i don't even look, much less quit a job i dislike.
  • i think i need to know how much i will have coming in, and when to expect it, to feel safe with impending bills.

  • responsible:
  • i have a lot of bills that i need to make sure i can pay.
  • if i don't stay on the treadmill it will be really hard to get back on. when i was unemployed for 15 months i had to take a job that was beneath my skill level in order to get back into the working world, and had to work my way back up.
  • if i take a break from my "chosen" career i will get (even further) behind my peers and will never catch up.

  • 2. How has doing what you "should" resulted in subpar experiences or regret for not doing something?

  • i could have run up credit cards and or sold my apartment and dove into creating the knitting cafe, which if i had i could have had the name i wanted and the honor of being first with the idea. but i felt risking my entire nest egg was foolhardy. plus i move too slowly. what's that about?
  • i could have just GONE to france and worked on getting a job once i was there, instead of waiting to get a job first. but i didn't have enough confidence i could do it.

  • 3. Look at what you're currently doing and ask, "What would happen if I did the opposite of the people around me? What will I sacrifice if I continue on this track for 5, 10, or 20 years?"

    god, the thought of staying on this track for even 5, much less 10 or 20 more years is soul-crushing. i don't want to end up like my coworker e---; he seems okay with his choices, but is derided by his colleagues. plus he seems somewhat unhappy or at least aware that he's not highly respected. i don't want to be 20+ years older than my peers (i'm already 10+ years old and don't much care for it anymore), and STILL trying to catch up!

    i want to try new things and learn new skills and go back to school in a whole new area - like chem or french or something. i want to have my own shop (though i don't want to work in it). i want to get involved in local politics, maybe. i want to go back to karate and finish getting my black belt. i want to learn to rock climb. i want to skydive.

    if i do the opposite of the people around me i will never get expert in my current field. and i don't give a damn about that! i have this downtime at work right now and i don't have any interest in boning up on my career subject matter!

    CHAPTER 3.
    1. Define your nightmare - what is the worst that could happen?

    a. unemployed and no money coming in. new business ideas don't pan out and i can't find a new job.
    b. have to sell the house and spend all the proceeds to live on.
    c. adam leaves me.
    d. i can't afford meds and get disablingly depressed.
    e. i have to move in with my brother or my parents.

    What would be the permanent (or really long term) impact on a scale of 1-10?

    a. have to start all over on savings (but i don't have a huge amount anyway right now) - 2
    b. have to start over on equity - 6
    c. have to get over losing adam and find somebody new - 6
    (i've spent a lot of time alone, i've been single for long periods, i can handle it, it would just suck for a long time.)
    d. ultimately, no effect. i'd get meds again. i'd be okay (0) unless i kill myself (10)
    e. have to eat crow and deal with impertinent questions about how things are going getting my shit back together - 4

    How likely is it they'd really happen?

    a - 3 - it's happened before, so i know it CAN happen.
    b - 1 - it's so unlikely it's not even a real fear.
    c - 2 or 3 - he wouldn't want to, but it's not IMPOSSIBLE.
    d - 0 - i would actually place meds before electricity.
    e - 1 - same as b. can't really imagine it happening.

    * 4HWW = The 4-Hour Workweek, by Timothy Ferris. My current change-your-life script.

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